life really is odd to me. do we ever really know what we want? what to expect, how to act, how to think, what to feel? will we ever be good enough for ourselves, or for others? why is it that with every few steps we take forward, we somehow still find ourselves one step behind? i still have yet to discover what it is i truly want, hope for and desire, as much progress as i have made within the past few years. it makes me wonder - do we ever really know? or are we always searching? will i one day wake up and finally know what it is i want to do, and who will be there with me during each and every step up this neverending staircase of obstacles, bitter hopes and distant dreams? nights like these never cease to leave me wondering.